Syria

Breaking: U.S. Retaliates With Heavy Firepower

The United States hit back hard, striking two “facilities in eastern Syria used by Iran and its proxies.” They started it by attacking U.S. troops. These weren’t just any facilities, they were “a weapons storage facility and an ammunition storage area.

US airstrike in Syria

The United States successfully assaulted two strategic military targets in Syria, it was reported late Thursday, October 26. They were weapons stockpiles being used against our forces in the region.

Joe Biden’s handlers gave the green light and our forces carried out a set of “self-defense airstrikes” with flawless precision.

Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps and affiliated groups in eastern Syria will need a fresh supply of bullets, bombs and rocket launchers.

The reports make note that due to the time zone shift, the attacks happened “early Friday local time.” They were done with surgical precision and no goats were injured unnecessarily.

According to defense officials, our forces conducted “discreet precision strikes” against “the two facilities near Al Bukamal, Syria, close to the border with Iraq.

All it took was a pair of F-16 fighter jets. The Arabs thought they could get away with starting trouble. They’ll think twice about doing that again.

We get it right

The big difference between the way we came screaming in with missiles blazing and the goat humpers’ dollar store drone assaults is that ours worked.

Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin announced that “these precision self-defense strikes are a response to a series of ongoing and mostly unsuccessful attacks against U.S. personnel in Iraq and Syria by Iranian-backed militia groups that began on October 17.

He put in a PR plug for Joe Biden who had nothing to do with it and was as far from Syria as he can get. Back in D.C., obliviously spooning up Ben & Jerry’s by the quart, Joe Biden, Austin insists, “has no higher priority than the safety of U.S. personnel.

He allegedly “directed today’s action to make clear that the United States will not tolerate such attacks and will defend itself, its personnel, and its interests.” It’s clear Joe never said any such thing. When left without a teleprompter or cue cards, he babbles about Corn Pop and lying dog faced pony soldiers until he nods off.

It was starting to get annoying. “U.S. and coalition forces have been attacked at least 19 times in the Middle East since last week, including four times in Syria and 12 times in Iraq.” After three fresh attacks against American forces on Thursday, the Pentagon finally pulled up their pantyhose and decided to do something about it.

It doesn’t matter which faction of goat humpers are behind it, they all get paid by the Ayatollah. “There’s a variety of groups. They have certain names one day, another name another day, but again, the main message is that it all goes back to Tehran.

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