Join Amazon Prime for exclusive deals, fast shipping, and endless entertainment! Sign up now!
We need more of these uncles. A letter recently published by syndicated advice columnist Amy Dickinson is getting a lot of social media support for the uncle who was told to stay away from his niece’s wedding because of his political beliefs. The problem though is she still expected his money. Fake? Maybe. But it seems to fit today’s expectations well enough so it might be normal now.
Money is now expected
“Angry in Philadelphia” is a woman who’s daughter decided against inviting “Uncle Dave” to the wedding because his politics “made her feel unsafe”. The mom wrote,
“My daughter is very politically progressive, as are many of her friends, and although she and Dave have always had a good relationship (I thought), he is a conservative voter and has supported candidates we all abhor.”
The daughter asked the mom to write Uncle Dave a letter telling him he wasn’t invited. Correspondingly the uncle didn’t respond or come to the wedding.
Money withheld
Curiously, she sent him pictures of the occasion “all in an effort to make him feel like he was not being totally left out.” Nice. Not completely left out accept that his physical presence wasn’t welcome at a family milestone.
But that wasn’t the reason the mom was writing. Bizarrely (or maybe it isn’t so bizarre), she was upset that Uncle Dave didn’t come through with his customary $1,000+ checks.
The money is lost on the mom
She writes, “My husband says I should drop it – but I can’t. Dave’s behavior is upsetting and embarrassing to me. How can I get my brother to recognize and change his petty behavior? Please don’t tell me that I’m the one who started this by not inviting my brother to the wedding. After all, he’s a grown man, while my daughter is young and just starting out.”
There are three things here that the mom might be missing. Those are a sense of propriety, respect for others and a little intelligence. Amy set her straight.
“In short: Brides who are too afraid of family members to invite them to a family wedding don’t then get the pleasure of receiving their money. You seem almost as afraid of your daughter as she is of your brother, but I hope you’ll find a way to courageously tell her that the Bank of Uncle Dave is closed, at least to your branch of the family. So far, your silent brother is the only family member who is behaving appropriately. He’s steering clear, which is exactly what you have asked him to do.”
