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Mayor Chased From Press Conference by Zombies

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Mayor London Breed and the San Francisco board of supervisors were attacked by a mob of agitated zombies and forced to beat a hasty retreat from United Nations Plaza. You could say the anti-crime press announcement they were there for was a total flop.

Mayor attacked by zombies

As New York Post reports, “San Francisco Mayor London Breed and the city’s board of supervisors were forced to retreat inside after a meeting they attempted to hold in a notorious open-air drug market was disrupted by jeers, shouting and a woman who hurled a brick.

No wonder the National Guard is afraid to go in there. The first day deployed to the Tenderloin, they secured an office building and have been using it as a bunker.

It happened on Tuesday, May 23, after city leaders made the ill-advised decision to “hold the meeting outdoors in United Nations Plaza.” Someone thought it would be a great idea to “highlight problems plaguing the area.

They wanted the camera crews to document the surging fentanyl overdoses live, in real time, while they progressively discussed “potential solutions.” More police isn’t one of them, Mayor Breed explained to disappointed residents and retailers.

City Supervisor Aaron Peskin started out strong when he “took to the podium and proclaimed the city has been tolerating ‘illegal, out-of-control behavior for far too long.” He admits that many citizens of San Francisco “do not feel safe.

He acknowledges that “brazen drug dealing and deteriorating street conditions have exacerbated a humanitarian crisis on our streets.” It’s time for more social workers. The mayor agrees completely.

Over in less than 10 minutes

As soon as the meeting began, zombies swarmed the plaza. “10 minutes after the meeting began, it was cut short as the crowd hurled insults at the mayor and supervisors until they just walked away from the podium.” At one point, “a woman threw a brick into the crowd and nearly struck a child.

They heard about the forced rehab that was proposed and don’t want anything to do with it. What the rest of the city wants, police armed with tanks and and tranquilizer guns to swarm through the urban hellscape and capture anything that shuffles.

Mayor Breed and her supervisors weren’t deterred, though they did have to “complete their meeting indoors.” They did actually have a handful of San Francisco Police on hand for security at the event.

Even though they were hopelessly outnumbered by the zombies, they managed to arrest the woman who hurled the brick. “She was swiftly arrested and whisked away in handcuffs.” The cops were glad to have an excuse to leave the scene.

The televised livestream of the debacle “cut to a black screen and background music” when the zombie uprising started. They soon resumed the broadcast as Mayor Breed “continued delivering her remarks from inside City Hall.” She can’t understand why the “vastly expanded resources for drug addiction treatment, universal income and affordable housing” haven’t done a thing to prevent the zombie population from growing.

Compassion is killing people,” Breed admits. “We have to change what is happening on the streets. It’s too easy getting drugs, they are dying under our watch, we have to do better.” Arresting them or their dealers remains out of the question though. The city is “developing a pilot program to address situations when someone is so far under the influence of drugs that they may pose a danger to themselves or others.

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