Iran is sowing the seeds of chaos. For some reason, the Ayatollah wants California to secede from America and got busted cold, manipulating Twitter to do it. Conservatives would love to quarantine California’s liberal madness away from the civilized parts of the nation, ones where they know how to keep crap off sidewalks. Even so, they’re more than a little irate to learn that Iran is behind a clandestine social-media op.
California is chaos all by itself
Right-leaning Americans jokingly back the “Calexit” proposal but for totally different reasons than Iran. In the opinion of progressive writers at the Sacramento Bee, the Iranians are trying to start a “dumpster fire” of chaos. California is chaotic enough all by itself. They don’t need more help from radicals in the Middle East who’s favorite cheer is “death to America.” Sacramento may be “Babylon” to conservatives but this isn’t satire and the Sacramento Bee is a bona fide news outlet.
California thinks they can have better luck leaving the union than they did in Dixieland. The California Exit or “Calexit” bill was introduced in all seriousness but even whacked out Hollywood liberals consider it a joke. You wouldn’t know that by looking at what’s trending on Twitter. Calexit is one of the hottest topics recently, “with thousands of accounts tweeting in support of the idea.”
Everyone up and down the west coast is scratching their heads in bewilderment because there isn’t any buzz on the beach over it. That’s not surprising because “most of the accounts” promoting the idea “appear to be based in Iran.”
First it was backed by Russia
Russian trolls were the first to get excited about Calexit. The BBC learned back in 2017 that “Russian social media operatives started boosting the idea after Donald Trump won the 2016 election.” Right about then, “the leader of the Calexit movement quit the campaign and announced plans to move to Russia.” Nobody knows for sure how the Iranians ended up picking the ball up and running with it.
The most likely answer in both cases is that our enemies love to see us fighting among ourselves. California’s standard chaos sets off the rest of the nation every time their name comes up in conversation, so it’s easy to see why they would make such a great subject. There was only one little problem with the Iranian plot. As the Bee reports, “Californians regard the idea of secession as ridiculous, kooky and senseless.” That’s really saying something in the land where kooky and senseless is the whole point of existence. “Polls have consistently shown that Californians oppose the idea by a wide margin.”
In order to make it happen, they have to start with securing the approval of the California State Legislature. They may be high enough to do it, but the next step lies with Congress. They’ll tell the nuts and flakes in the granola state the same thing they told Jefferson Davis. Forget it. If we ended up in some twilight zone reality where Nancy Pelosi pulled off congressional approval, Satan would be ice skating to work the day 38 other states in the union said okay. “If California could actually muster that kind of national consensus, there would be no reason to secede.”
An address to the Iranian people
Early last month, the “President of California,” Marcus Evans Ruiz crafted a YouTube message to his newfound allies in Iran. He promised the Ayatollah “an independent California would pursue a better foreign policy with Iran.” Now where is California going to come up with pallets of cash when they can’t even keep the plague carrying vermin out of their police stations?
Iranians jumped at the idea. “The next day saw an outpouring of tens of thousands of tweets – purportedly from Iranians – in support of #Calexit.” They were of course all paid for by the Iranian propaganda mill. “A divided United States would better serve the entire world, including the people of the United States,” insists one post. A post which happened to come from “an account with 80,000 followers.”
Californians don’t hide their hatred for President Donald Trump but that doesn’t mean they like Iran any better. “Trump’s foreign policy toward Iran,” Sacramento Bee explains, “backing out of a nuclear deal and then imposing cruel sanctions on the country, has been unwise and unfair. But those who push for California secession as a response make themselves look silly and weak.”